Movies With Matvey Cherry

Fantastic Beasts:

The Secrets of Dumbledor

Illustration by Paco May

What I saw in Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledor deeply offended my intellectual dignity. How can anyone older than ten like the ridiculous clowning of Mikkelsen and Law filmed with the chroma key? It is absolutely unclear to me. However, there was not a single child in the cinema!

Respected, serious actors talk about good and evil and the responsibility of the wizard to the universe while stroking some platypuses and grasshoppers. 

Mikkelsen plays Hitler of the magical world. He’s in Berlin, while around him is the appropriation of all cultures at once. Jude Law is a mix of Churchill and Miss Marple. Eddie Redmayne is again playing Oliver Twist but he’s over forty. A long time ago, let’s be honest, he got out of the age of The Danish Girl. The cozy British five o’clock is mercilessly exploited, all the good heroes are with freckles. All the bad ones come from The Night Porter, including Alexander Kuznetsov in the role of a stereotypical gauleiter with only a single line in this movie. 

In short, it’s time to let a lot of Hollywood screenwriters go. All this is unbearable. I think Johnny Depp should be glad that he has been canceled

In most films like Fantastic Beasts, the world is constantly being saved from villains, yet it should be from idiots. First of all, they bring the villains to power. Secondly, they provide an insatiable demand for shitty cinema.

Matvey Cherry


Paco May


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